Bring on the bruiser

If you're a person who loves the guts out of a 32 degree day with 80 per cent humidity, a Canberra winter can be a bit of a bloody struggle.

This morning when I went to work it was -3. Grim.

The very cool thing about Canberra is that it's very Life Be In It, so there's loads of stuff to keep you warm.

The extremely cool thing about this for me means that I now have roller derby three nights a week.

It's no secret to anyone who reads this blog that the one defining battle of my life (still not yet quite won) has been with my weight.

As a fat kid, I was rubbish at sport. Every single sport left me panting and embarrassed - except swimming and... rollerskating.

Every afternoon after school, my brother and I would swing our skates over our back, walk across the cow paddock and to the subdivision being built in the farmland behind our house. There were only three or four houses, so barely any traffic and loads of smooth bitumen.

We'd meet our buddies down there and skate until it was dark. We didn't wear padding, helmuts or even know how to stop properly, but we'd gun it around and around having speed skating competitions. It was the only sport I was ever the best at. The only person who could almost beat me was a boy called Dale - and he was a little overweight too - funny, hey?

My skates had wings. My babysitter Carole was killed in a truck accident when she was nineteen and her skates were passed on to me. They were the coolest, fastest skates around and I only ever fell on them twice (once, showing off in my parents' shop and the other time having no option but to dive into some dirt on a steep hill with no end). Clearly they had a bit of Carole's magic dust left over on them.

Since being an adult I've flirted with rollerblading (not nearly as fun) and skated every few years, but have found myself timid. Slight dips in the concrete that would have set my heart racing with excitement scared me and had me thinking about broken bones and smashed teeth. A proper hill? No way, won't go near it.

The first time I heard about roller derby, I thought it was the perfect sport for me. The Canberra Roller Derby League has a long-arse waiting list and I went on it. I was totally excited about it until I went to a game with my brother who promptly told me I might be a good enough skater to do it, but I was way too soft to be skating around barging into other girls (I do have a habit of crying if any of my siblings punch me - and yes, it still happens occasionally as adults!).

So, for the past year, I kinda forgot about it.

Then in the last few weeks, there have been spaces in a new ANU league and the CRDL are running a social skate. I have three skating sessions a week! And you get taught how to stop! And fall!

What I'm really excited about in derby is the theatre of it all. Being tough and fast and efficient on skates, while also being a character who's not remotely like me. I've also found since working crazy breakfast hours, I have a much shorter fuse. A whole heap of rage I've tried to get rid of through yoga...! Will be excellent to take this out on the rink and not my colleagues and unsuspecting friends!

Plus: it's a sport run by women, for women, where the whole vibe is non-conformist. You can be whoever the hell you want to be. It's super sexy too, I reckon. The cool thing is that it's sexualised as much as you want it to be in a self-expressive way, rather than a submissive way. I dig that big time.